Strange Brews
by zeph317toho
Summary: AU: Ichigo and Rukia are just bros working in a coffee shop who enjoy a good lazy gossip about their regular clientele. The caffeine addict who plays the guitar sometimes is kinda cute but regularly leers at Ichigo. Will he ever have the nerve to ask Ichigo out? Or will Ichigo finally kick him out for being a creep?


PAIRING: Grimmjow/Ichigo

RATED: T for language

WARNINGS: Fluff, humor and overuse of coffee shop tropes

NOTES: This was written for Day 12, the dreaded Coffee Shop AU, of the 30-Day AU Challenge I undertook in April. It was supposed to be fluffy and fun.

* * *

Ichigo cleared his throat and squeezed his eyes shut. "I have a large Wile E. Coyote Acme Special for Ishinda. And an extra-large Road Runner Meep-Meep for Chad."

"It's Ishida, you moron," Uryu said, grabbing the cup. "We went to high school together for God's sake. How can you still be messing up my name?"

"Blame Rukia," Ichigo pointed his thumb in her direction. "Her handwriting sucks."

"What's with the names of these drinks, Ichigo?" Chad sniffed his drink but took a sip anyway.

Ichigo gritted his teeth, but Rukia leaned over and answered for him. "It's Urahara's idea of snazzy marketing. He came up with all these wacky names that we're supposed to shout, probably just to embarrass us. But only Ichigo ever does it. He's such an obedient, conscientious employee." Rukia happily pinched his cheek until he pulled away and swatted her.

"Stop it! I'm just trying to be a good worker."

"It shows. Look at the rush in here," Uryu said dryly, gesturing to the empty coffee shop.

"Doesn't mean I can't still be a good employee," Ichigo said stubbornly, grabbing a towel and going to work on the counter.

"Yes it does," Rukia leaned on the counter right in his way. "We can't compete with some of the other coffee places around, especially that hardcore one across town. What's it called? Hoco Modo?"

"Hueco Mundo," Uryu corrected. They all looked at him until he pushed up his glasses in embarrassment. "They're known for their strong brews."

"And their good-looking employees," Rukia said slyly. "Which one interested you?"

"Their coffee is very good," Uryu replied primly. "And their employees at least know how to work and keep their noses out of customers' business."

Rukia shrugged. "We're pretty sure Urahara is just using this place as a front for some kind of underworld activity." She elbowed Ichigo who scowled. "Ichigo and I get to drink free coffee, be lazy and gossip about the clientele. It's a great job."

"Speak for yourself," Ichigo muttered and escaped to the back to start taking stock of their supplies.

He hid away happily from Rukia's teasing until the bell over the door rang and Rukia called out, "Ichigo, we actually have a customer! Get your cute little ass out here!"

Grumbling, he stepped out from behind the curtain, ready to tear into her. But two bright blue eyes were staring at him, right above a very white and toothy smirk. Ichigo almost tripped taking his position behind the coffee station.

"Caffe Americano with 10 extra shots," Rukia told him.

Ichigo gaped. "Are you serious?!"

Rukia nodded solemnly. Ichigo looked back up at the customer who was still smirking. "Are _you_ serious?!"

"Abso-fuckin'-lutely."

"That's a whole shitload of caffeine."

The guy leaned on the counter, getting into Ichigo's personal space. "Are you going to make my coffee or not, cute ass?"

Ichigo narrowed his eyes and grabbed the espresso. Oh, it was on now.

He had to look away while he prepared the drink, Rukia close at his side, the man still leaning forward. Normally, it would have made Ichigo nervous but now he was so irritated that it only spurred him on. He completed the caffeine-laden concoction and stood back with a mix of pride and disgust.

"Do you want whipped cream on that?" He glanced at Rukia's handwriting. "Gram Joe?"

"It's Grimmjow," the man corrected and reached for the cup, brushing against Ichigo's hand before he could set it down. "No whip."

Then he drank deeply, chugging at least half of it before he wiped his mouth with his other hand.

Rukia and Ichigo looked on in awe when he didn't fall down dead.

"Not bad," Grimmjow said. He took out his wallet and dug out a $20 bill. He held it over the tip jar for a moment then smirked and reached over the counter, tucking it into the top of Ichigo's apron. He winked. "Decent coffee _and_ a cute ass? I'll be back."

"Please. Don't."

But Ichigo's plea was ignored by everyone. As usual.

He trudged to the coffee shop after class and mindlessly made coffee. More customers slowly heard about the shop and trickled in, but there were still long breaks of tedium when Ichigo and Rukia would stand around and share lazy gossip about the regulars.

"When is Ishida ever going to ask out Orihime?" Rukia asked when Uryu held the door and blushed at their mutual friend.

"Chad's band has a show tomorrow night. We going?" Ichigo asked when Chad left a stack of flyers on the counter.

"Renji asked me out again," Rukia told him. "I said I'd only go if he asked my brother. He was so scared I think he peed a little."

Then there was the big blue bastard who started to become a regular. After his first intimidating order, he toned it down a little, but Ichigo still managed to mangle his name accidentally on purpose. So Gram Joe became Gro How and Grim Ho and, his personal favorite, Grin Joy. That was the least appropriate because the only time the guy grinned was when he was leering at Ichigo.

When the time for midterms rolled around, Ichigo took a couple days off with Urahara's blessing, but he came back to an unwelcome surprise.

He pushed Rukia immediately into the back room. "What is going on out there?" he hissed.

"Well, Ichigo, it's a coffee shop. We make coffee drinks and serve them to customers. Have you been gone so long you forgot?"

He tried to beat her with a bag of stacked cups but she dodged and threw a stack of paper plates at his face like a discus. He ducked and the plates flew through the split curtain.

"Ow," came a voice that sounded like Uryu.

They ignored it. Ichigo glared down at Rukia. "What the hell is _he_ doing out there?"

Rukia glared up at him. "If you mean Grimmjow, he's playing the guitar."

"But why?" Ichigo knew his voice ascended into something like a whine.

Rukia shrugged. "He brought it in the other day when you weren't here." She elbowed him slyly. "I think he wanted to impress you."

"Dammit Rukia," Ichigo rubbed his ribs, "you've got pointy elbows. And you don't know your own strength."

"I know exactly how strong I am. That's why I do it. And Grimmjow apparently wants to show _you_ what _he_ can do. Urahara told him he could play here a couple nights a week for free coffee."

"So I have to put up with _that_ a couple nights a week?!"

Rukia nodded. " _That_ 's not so bad. And Urahara made sure to schedule you specially for the nights Grimmjow said he could play."

"I hate you all."

 _That_ didn't improve when Ichigo peeked out from the back. Grimmjow sat in a corner, strumming his guitar, ignoring the group of women clustered around him. He was wearing tight jeans with rips all over the thighs and a T-shirt with the graphic so faded Ichigo couldn't quite make it out. But he was afraid it looked like a graffiti dick and balls.

Ichigo went to his station and spent his shift making coffee refills for the starstruck women then cleaning everything he could wrap a cloth around. He pointedly went in the back and stayed there when Grimmjow took a break and wanted more to drink.

Grimmjow left soon after, leaving the women to promise they'd be back whenever he played.

Ichigo began to wonder if his budget could handle him quitting on the spot.

But the next time, Grimmjow ordered one drink and then set up in the corner without harassing Ichigo. So Ichigo got to spend his shift actually listening to the music and found himself not totally hating it.

He couldn't say the same for all the fawning women who rhapsodized over Grimmjow.

After the second week, Ichigo realized he was looking forward to the nights when Grimmjow came in. He stopped forcing Rukia to do his drinks and made them himself. Grimmjow still leered but it was a little distracted by the ever-growing crowd of women that surrounded him.

Then Ichigo picked up an early shift on a weekend and was surprised when Grimmjow came through the door right after he opened.

"What are you doing here?" He blurted out.

"Well, I'm not here for the welcome party I always get from you," Grimmjow said. "Gimme an extra large drip."

"You don't want any extra shots added?" he teased.

"Heh. I don't really want to be any more awake today than I have to be." Grimmjow pulled a stool over to the counter and slouched.

"Rough night?"

"Yeah. Got off work late then two of my buddies got into some kind of fight and I had to bail them out."

"That was nice of you." Ichigo slid the cup over to him. "So what are you doing up so early today?"

Grimmjow eyed him over his drink. "I wanted to talk to you when there was no one around."

"But how'd you know I was working? I never open."

"That girl, the one who always fucks with my name, she told me your schedule."

"Well, that's not very safe or confidential of her." Ichigo made up his mind to take it up with Rukia later.

"Don't be too hard on her," Grimmjow guessed his thoughts. "She wouldn't give me your phone number or address."

"Geez," Ichigo could feel his face starting to burn so he turned away and fussed with the machine.

"I wanted to ask you something. You wanna go out tomorrow night?"

Ichigo froze. He actually… kinda… did. But he also didn't. "I don't know."

"I thought we could go to that Shakespeare thing at that museum you were talking about."

Ichigo barely remembered telling Rukia about it. Had Grimmjow even been in that night?

"I was thinking about going tonight with Ishida."

"Oh. I gotta work tonight."

Ichigo squeezed shut his eyes and said, "Ishida won't mind if I cancel. He can take Orihime instead."

"Cool. You wanna meet there tomorrow night, seven?"

"Yeah. Okay."

Grimmjow pushed himself up but Ichigo stepped forward quickly. "Here. Refill." He sloshed coffee into the cup and Grimmjow gave him a tired little grin, saluted him with the cup and left.

Rukia was so going to get it.

"Or maybe you'll be getting it tomorrow night," she tittered when he told her the story.

"You're such a perv," he said, but it was affectionate.

"What did Rukia do now?" Uryu asked from the register.

Rukia told him an exaggerated version of the morning's events, complete with Ichigo nearly swooning into Grimmjow's brawny arms at the date invitation.

Uryu looked distracted and uncomfortable when Ichigo told him he'd have to cancel, but it wasn't the suggestion that he take Orihime that seemed to trigger him. Instead he asked, "Instead of the museum, can we go somewhere else tonight?"

"Oh, Ichigo, so popular with the men now," Rukia said from behind them.

"I'll be by when your shift is done," Uryu told him and left without his usual coffee.

"Orihime is going to be so jealous," Rukia said.

"Because Uryu asked me out or because I'm going somewhere with him?"

"Yes," Rukia said.

Ichigo wanted only to go home after being on his feet for a double shift, but he sighed and buckled into Uryu's car when he arrived. "Where are we going?"

"There's something you need to see. But I don't think you're going to like it."

"Well that's not ominous at all," Ichigo muttered. He sat in a doze until Uryu parked somewhere across town. Then he looked around with little interest until he recognized the neon sign above one of the doors said "Hueco Mundo."

"I know you seriously did not just bring me to a coffee shop," he said in his flattest voice.

"Let's go in."

"Yes because what I need in my life is more coffee." Ichigo refused to budge.

Uryu sighed. "Just trust me for once?"

Ichigo shoved the door open and stalked out. Uryu led him into the coolest coffee shop Ichigo had ever seen. It was the alpha coffee house that all other coffee shops were trying to be but only managing weak imitations of. It was fun, it was hip, it was full of cool people, and the coffee, frankly, made Ichigo's mouth water. It was coffee Nirvana.

And then he saw the staff manning the counters. Rukia had been right—the employees must have been handpicked for their good looks.

But Ichigo only had eyes for one—the big, tall, stupidly good-looking one with the ridiculous blue hair. He stopped only a few steps inside and grabbed Uryu's arm. "Let's get out of here."

Uryu looked at him but followed him out. They walked in silence back to the car.

"I don't suppose that Grimmjow has an identical twin?"

Ichigo barked a bitter laugh. "If there were two Grimmjows, the world would collapse under the weight of their egos. No, that was him. Stupid bastard," he added after a beat.

Ishida was quiet as they pulled into traffic then asked the obvious question, "So why do you think he's always coming into Urahara's shop?"

"Well it sure as hell isn't for the quality drinks and friendly service. And the service is about to get even less friendly."

"Ichigo, maybe he really does like … the coffee."

"Or maybe he's spying for his own shop. Whatever. Who cares." Ichigo slouched lower. "I'm done."

They didn't talk again until Uryu dropped him off at his apartment. "What are you going to say to Grimmjow?" he finally asked.

"I don't know," Ichigo admitted.

"Maybe just find out his side of the story before you go off all half-cocked."

"Heh. Sure," Ichigo scrambled out of the car then peered back in. "And thanks, Uryu."

"I am sorry."

"I'm just glad I found out now."

Ichigo thought about it all the next day. What he really wanted to do was flip a table or throw something hard at Grimmjow, like his fist. What he really didn't want to do was show up at the appointed time.

In the end, he compromised and showed up but angry and ready to throw down. It didn't help that Grimmjow smiled at him—actually smiled, not leered—as he walked toward him.

"Ichigo, what's up?"

"My temper," Ichigo said. "Fuck you."

"What the hell's the matter with you?"

Injured pride shouldn't look that good on anyone, Ichigo thought, but he went on. "I know where you work, so tell me, why the hell would an employee of the best coffee shop in this part of the country ever want to come into ours?"

Grimmjow opened his mouth then closed it with a wince. "So you found out about that, huh?"

"Yes, I did. I saw you. So let me in on it. Do you come to our sad little shop to spy? Or do you get off on slumming it?"

"Well it sure as hell isn't the customer service," Grimmjow told him.

"What the fuck is your deal?!"

Grimmjow batted away the stiff finger Ichigo poked into his chest. "It's my business."

"Not when you came into our shop and made it my business!"

"Fine, you wanna know what happened?" Grimmjow was in his face shouting back.

"Yeah, yeah I really do want to know!"

Grimmjow stepped back with a huff and looked away. "Our owner sent me to look over your place, scope out the competition. As soon as I walked in, I knew we had nothing to worry about."

"Fuck you."

"But then," Grimmjow ignored him, "I did the intimidation drink thing that we always do at Hueco Mundo, and you guys were just so… so..."

"Grossed out?"

"Cute," Grimmjow said flatly. "You two were so damn cute. And you like each other. That's completely different than Hueco Mundo where we all hate each other's guts. I kept coming back because it was funny to flirt with you because every time I come on to you, you get this little flush right over your nose and..." Grimmjow shrugged.

"You're a big bully who gets off on embarrassing other people?"

"Maybe. A little. But your shop has a whole different feel than ours. People come to you because they want decent coffee and a place to relax and just be themselves. You even put up with my crummy playing. It's … nice."

"And you report everything back to your boss?"

"Not after that first time. Shit, he'd probably fire my ass if he knew I was still hanging out there. I think he's got some kinda grudge against that squirrely dude who owns your shop."

Ichigo sighed. "I wouldn't be surprised. Urahara is definitely as nutty as a squirrel. I just can't believe you never told us that you work for the competition."

"You never asked me where I worked," Grimmjow pointed out. "You've never asked me anything about myself."

Ichigo had to admit that was true. "So you're really trying to tell me that you don't run back to Hueco Mundo and tell them everything about us?"

"Why? So they can replicate the way the steamer got away from you and you nearly scorched your face off? I sure as hell wasn't going to tell them about the time Rukia dropped the soy milk and you came out of the back and slid and fell on your ass."

"I could have broken my tail bone!"

Grimmjow took a step closer. "It would have been a true shame if you'd broken that cute little ass."

"Do you really expect me to believe that the only reason you're still coming around is because …" Ichigo felt his face burn and spread to his ears. But he still didn't have the arrogance to say it.

Luckily, Grimmjow did. "Because of your cute little ass. And the body and the personality attached to it."

"You're full of shit."

Grimmjow shrugged. "Maybe. But I'm not shitting you about this. I like you. And I like your coffee."

"You're ridiculous." Ichigo grabbed him by the collar, pulled him down and kissed him. Grimmjow overcame his shock in an instant and kissed him back.

"Do you even want to go to this exhibit?" Ichigo asked between kisses.

"No, but I wanted to go somewhere with you."

"Let's go somewhere else then," Ichigo nibbled on his ear.

"You wanna go get coffee?" Grimmjow smirked then almost yelped when Ichigo bit his earlobe.

"We will never joke about coffee again," he told him seriously. "And we keep our work lives separate. No corporate espionage."

"Got it. Now, can we go somewhere more comfortable?"

Ichigo led him back to his place where the next morning Grimmjow found out his deepest, darkest secret—Ichigo only drank tea.


End file.
